The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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