You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
