Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
