areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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