i need an iv and a liver transplant
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
This baby is an asshole
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
