If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
