I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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