Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
