we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I wish i was in the wii world.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
