wake up i wanna do it froggy style
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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