Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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