And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
