I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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