No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
