So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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