I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize