Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
