life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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