i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
