I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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