This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
