I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
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