i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
nutella sex= disaster
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
