; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Found your dick twin last night
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
