He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Bring me that man meat
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
