The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
