We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize