you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize