Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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