We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
