i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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