seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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