PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize