I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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