I'm laying in your front yard are you home
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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