Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
