pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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