They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
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