I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
