I like to think it a success when the cops are called
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
