I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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