therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
