Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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