I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
