garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
