If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
