Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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