Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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