i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
