Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Randomize
