he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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