If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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