I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
