i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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