His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
