Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Randomize