I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
