hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
