Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
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