turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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