Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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