Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Randomize
