he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
