Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize