K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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