I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
