walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
