Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
