do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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