Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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